Patty,
My wife has been on the journey to find a suitable carry gun and carry method for several years. She likes her Kel Tec P32 because it's very small in length, height, and most importantly IMO, width. The P32's weight, recoil, and muzzle blast don't wear her out quickly, unlike other guns she's tried. It fits her hand well. The trigger pull isn't too heavy for her. She can run the slide. It's reliable. It's only a .32 ACP, but it's better than not having a gun.
She likes her S&W 317 very much (.22 LR, 8 shots, very light weight), but she considers it too large for carry with its 3" barrel.
She has a S&W 649, an all-stainless steel 5 shot .357/.38 small frame short-barreled revolver. She considers it too heavy and large for on-body carry.
The S&W 642, a lighter weight small frame .38, recoils too much for her even with standard pressure loads, and is too large for on-body carry for her.
An S&W or Ruger small frame short-barreled revolver in .22LR, .32 H&R Magnum, or .38 might work for you.
Our very compact polymer-framed Kahr PM9 recoils too heavily for her and its short slide is difficult for her to rack. Some of the Kahrs, particularly in .380 and 9mm(P380, PM9, CW9, P9, K9,MK9, etc), might be worthwhile options for you. They make a large variety of guns. The all-stainless steel Kahrs (especially the K9) are known for their durability and reliability.
Some folks love the Ruger LCP and Kel Tec P3AT as carry guns, a pair of very small .380 auto pistols. I have no experience with them; some folks report recoil as snappy.
She's tried belly band carry, but that wasn't comfortable and didn't work with much of her wardrobe. Pocket carry was never really an option because of the design of her trousers. She's leery of purse carry because if a thief grabs her purse, he's also gotten her gun. She's eyeing some ankle holsters currently.
I'd recommend that you go to the cornered cat website. Lots of good info there from women who carry.